


Becoming Your Strength

by Rein



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Blood Play, Cannibalism, I don't know how to tag this, M/M, dub con, mild description of gore actually, spoilers for chapter 108
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 20:58:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2164941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rein/pseuds/Rein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After coming back from Kanou's lab, Tsukiyama takes it upon himself to keep Kaneki preoccupied during the night</p>
            </blockquote>





	Becoming Your Strength

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers up to chapter 108

Everyone one that followed Kaneki that night after the incident in the 11th ward knew Kaneki was still the same man; a shy and gentle person. Despite the hair color and blackened nails (Kaneki wouldn’t talk about how that happened), he was still sane and seemingly trouble-free; as if he were still at Anteiku when all he worried about was brewing the coffee right and not getting Touka angry.

 However, the nights were different.

 The best nights were when Kaneki slept soundlessly but those nights were rare. Most nights Kaneki woke up in a cold sweat, heart thudding like a rabbit as his mind slowly assured him Yamori was dead. That he was alone in bed, away from that vast and cold hobby room of his dead tormentor. The phantom pains of having each digit on his hands and feet cut off never left him alone those nights. The sounds of the centerpiece burying its way into his head accompanied him while he slept. But it was manageable on most nights.  

But worst of all were those nights where he couldn't tell reality from his dreams. He'd wake with a tormented scream clawing its way out his throat. Staring in horror and anguished pain at Rize's delighted grin as she laughed at him.

Insistent whispers would talk to him, urging him to eat and devour, to hurt and kill. To protect and save.

To eat, and eat, and _eat._

Banjou and the others never knew what to do when those nights happened. Not until they left Kanou's lab that night.

\--------------

"I put him to bed but I don't think he'll be asleep for long." Banjou said as he stared at the door to Kaneki's room. Tsukiyama agreed with him. It was going to be one of _those_ nights, maybe even worse.

"Hinami-chan, why don't you go to Banjou's room tonight?” Tsukiyama suggested. “He'll protect you."

"And what are you going to do?" Banjou gruffly asked, stepping closer to the gourmet ghoul. Tsukiyama smiled and it sent a shiver down Banjou’s spine. It was a completely predatory grin, no matter how much Tsukiyama tried to rein it in.

"Protect the two of you, of course." He replied. When all he got was a blank stare from Banjou, Tsukiyama sighed. "Can you give your word that you'll be able to stop Kaneki if he attacks again?"

"He wasn't..."

"I know." Tsukiyama said, interrupting Banjou. "But can you?"

Banjou remained silent. He knew Tsukiyama was right. He didn’t trust the ghoul at all but he was, without question, stronger than he was. While Banjou was sure Kaneki wouldn’t go crazy, he couldn’t in good consciousness let him go unguarded. With a reluctant sigh, Banjou nodded.

“Hinami-chan, let’s go downstairs. Kaneki will need his rest.” He said.

Hinami gazed at the door, concern clearly showing on her face before she headed downstairs. Banjou followed behind her, but not before he turned to Tsukiyama and glared at him.

“Don’t try anything funny, Tsukiyama.” He said as a warning before he left.

Tsukiyama sighed, appalled that Banjou trusted him so little but that didn’t stop the grin that shaped his lips. He had every intention to look after Kaneki.  Pleased with the fact that he’ll be alone with Kaneki, Tsukiyama entered the half ghoul’s room.  

The first thing he noticed was that Kaneki was curled into a ball on the bed in the dark room. The moonlight that shone through the windows provided enough light to see the huddled figure. He could hear Kaneki mutter to himself, a tirade of ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again. Tsukiyama approached the bed, sitting close to him.

“Kaneki-kun, you don’t have to keep saying that.” He said. “Banjou recovered well enough.”

“…I couldn’t protect.”

“Protect who?” Tsukiyama asked. He inched closer to Kaneki.

Kaneki shuddered and he gripped his head, fingers pulling at his hair. “…couldn’t protect, I need to protect, I don’t want to lose anyone, _can’t lose anyone, please…”_

Tsukiyama coldy stared at Kaneki’s body. He knew of Yamori’s habit so he had an idea of what Kaneki must’ve gone through. Personally, torturing someone the way Yamori did wasn't his cup of tea. It was a waste of flesh and time. But he wouldn’t deny that he felt something within him stirring as he watched Kaneki shiver and writhe as whatever demons haunted his mind.

“But Kaneki-kun, you’ve already protected the others.” Tsukiyama shifted closer still, resting his hand on top of Kaneki’s head.

“… _can’t protect…need more…let me eat, please, eat…”_

At hearing that, Tsukiyama grinned.

He pulled his hand away and took off his shirt, standing to drape the shirt over Kaneki’s chair. There was no point in getting such an expensive shirt covered in blood if there was any helping it. Then he searched through Kaneki’s desk until he found a small bottle of lotion. He walked back to the bed, climbing on top. The bed shifted with his weight and in a sudden movement, he was able to flip Kaneki on his back.

He pinned down Kaneki’s legs with his own, settling his weight on Kaneki’s thighs. Kaneki stared up at Tsukiyama in slight shock, his mad ranting stopped as he curiously stared up at Tsukiyama. The gourmet lewdly smiled as he ran his hand over his neck, resting it at the crook between neck and shoulder.

“Kaneki-kun, you grow stronger every time you eat. But it breaks you so much, carrying that strength. If you want to eat so much…” Tsukiyama leaned over Kaneki, watching his beautiful mixed eyes focus on his hand. Tsukiyama dug his nails into his flesh, hard enough to draw blood. Kaneki’s body tensed and his breath caught in his throat as he watched small rivulets of blood trail down his fingers. It dripped down his wrist and fell to Kaneki’s face in small splatters.

One landed near the corner of his lips and Kaneki’s tongue swept out, licking the drop. Kaneki’s eyes dilated at the taste, a feral growl rumbling in his throat as his nose flared.

“…eat my _strength_.”

He dug deeper, grunting in pain as he tore a part of his skin away. Blood gushed out quicker, sleek muscle exposed to the air. Kaneki’s body lurched forward, eyes zeroed on Tsukiyama’s neck. Kaneki bit down hard, tearing into the soft, exposed flesh. Tsukiyama gritted his teeth through the pain, adrenaline rushing through him as he fought his fight and flight instincts.

Instead, he took advantage, pulling Kaneki closer to his chest as he feasted on Tsukiyama’s muscles and tendons. Tsukiyama buried his nose against Kaneki’s blood-stained neck, able to sniff out Kaneki’s unique scent. He shuddered in pleasure, feeling himself grow hard despite the pain. It was a sweet and heady scent, particular unique to Kaneki only. He rocked his hips against Kaneki and muttered a surprised ‘oh’ as he felt the bulge on Kaneki’s own body.

“I wonder if this is the human you reacting, or the ghoul?” He said, forcibly ripping Kaneki’s head away from his eaten neck. Kaneki growled, his eyes solely focused on the exposed, pulsating flesh. The lower half of his face was covered in blood and he looked absolutely intoxicated. Holding him back, Tsukiyama felt his neck, feeling that Kaneki had eaten almost to the bone.

“…Tsukiyama-san…?”

Tsukiyama looked at Kaneki and realized he had calm down enough to realize what he had done. He looked down at his own hands, noticing that they were covered in blood. His hands began to tremble, small whimpers falling from is blood stained lips.

“Don’t be afraid, mon chéri.” Tsukiyama said with a gentle smile. ”I’m giving you my strength.”

Kaneki was confused, but he was able to pick up the situation very quickly and he shook his head. “No! I can’t…I don’t want to…!”

Tsukiyama merely continued to smile. He pushed Kaneki on to his back and stuck his hand down his shorts, giving Kaneki’s erect cock a hard squeeze. Kaneki whimpered, face turning hot and red.

“You can.” He said, pressing his palm against Kaneki’s dick, fingers rubbing against his balls. Kaneki whimpered again, blood stained lips parted as he gasped with each steady stroke. Tsukiyama swallowed dryly and decided he needed to see Kaneki worked up again.

He brought out his kagune, sharpening and shaping the appendage until it was like a long flexible sword. Very quickly, he cut off Kaneki’s pants, pulling the fabric away with a flick of his wrist. Another quick slice and he ripped away Kaneki’s shirt, leaving him completely naked before Tsukiyama.

“Tsukiyama!”

Before Kaneki could bring out his own kagune, Tsukiyama had his kagune slit his own throat. Kaneki gasped as the spray of blood landed on his face and torso. His eyes widened and his breathing became ragged again; his tongue flicked out to lick his lips blood stained lips.

“I want to see how far you can go, Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama said as he leaned back to sit on his knees. He pulled Kaneki’s legs apart, pulling him closer onto his lap. Tearing his mind away from the fresh, sweet, blood that coated his face, Kaneki quickly put together what was happening. But he didn’t attempt to stop the gourmet.

A voice within himself stopped him from trying to pry Tsukiyama off him; a sultry voice that haunted him longer than the other voices.

_Let your insides get stirred up, Kaneki-san._

With his fingers coated in lotion, Tsukiyama slid one finger into Kaneki. Kaneki gasped at the weird sensation. Tsukiyama slowly slid it out then back in, prodding and poking until he added another finger. Kaneki moaned when Tsukiyama began to stretch him open. His legs quivered around the ghoul’s waist, hips twitching as Tsukiyama began to thrust his fingers harder into him. He added a third one, pouring more lotion as he spread Kaneki even wider.

Kaneki bit his lips as he gasped and moaned, toes curling as he lifted his hips. Tsukiyama’s fingers brushed against something within in, leaving him absolutely breathless. Back arched off the bed, he moaned loudly. A feral grin shaped Tsukiyama’s lips as he pulled his fingers out and harshly forced them back in, brushing against that same spot.

Kaneki’s entire mind seemed to come undone as Tsukiyama repeatedly abused that spot. His muscles became taunt, mouth worked open with his moans, sweeps of heat and shivers reverberating through his body. Tsukiyama couldn’t take his eyes of the man before him, not when sweat began to glisten on his body, saliva and remains of his blood dripping down the side of his open mouth. The ghoul stared at his fingers, watching the three digits disappear within Kaneki’s stretched and twitching asshole.

Kaneki shuddered when Tsukiyama removed his fingers completely.

“…are you going to…” Kaneki let the sentence hang. He stared up at Tsukiyama, feeling the blush spread across his face. Tsukiyama cupped the side of Kaneki’s face, leaning over to lick the blood off his cheek.

“Of course, I will.” He said. He rested back on his knees and unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down to his knees. His erect cock bounced free, precum dripping down the length. It was much bigger and longer than his own dick and for once, Kaneki was scared. Sensing his change of mood, Tsukiyama once again leaned over Kaneki. He clawed at his healed neck, fresh blood dripping down Kaneki’s face.

Kaneki gulped, eyes trained on the blood flowing from the deep cut Tsukiyama had inflicted on himself. “.. _don’t…Tsukiyama…_ ” His voice was like a growl, his left eye now turned to that deadly and beautiful black and red. Tsukiyama brought himself closer, until his neck touched Kaneki’s trembling lips, their bodies flushed against each other.

Kaneki weakly groaned as he bit into the soft flesh, just as Tsukiyama positioned and entered Kaneki.

Kaneki threw his head back as Tsukiyama’s dick buried deep inside him. It was much hotter than his fingers, so much thicker and longer. His body trembled around Tsukiyama, gathering his breath at the completely new sensation.

“…Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama roughly grunted.

Kaneki was tighter than he had imagined. He was clamping down on him so tightly that any lesser man or ghoul would have already cum inside his warmth. Kaneki breathed hard against his ear, body still shuddering. He clawed at Tsukiyama’s back, nails scratching at his skin.

“Move… Tsukiyama…” Kaneki said, voice sultry and lewd and utterly captivating.

“As you wish.” He answered.

He gripped Kaneki’s hips and began to move, slowing pulling out then plunging back in. Each time, Kaneki gasped, blackened nails drawing blood down Tsukiyama’s back. It hurt but the pain wasn’t even close to real, genuine pain and as Tsukiyama quickened his pace, thrusting harder and deeper into Kaneki, the pain melted with the messy pool of pleasure.

Once Tsukiyama felt that Kaneki was thoroughly used to his cock, he got a secure hold of the white haired half ghoul and pulled him up to sit on his lap. Kaneki vision flashed white as he felt Tsukiyama’s cock work its way even deeper within him. He couldn’t ignore the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the feeling of sweat gliding down his skin, mixing with the blood. Kaneki’s breath hitched with every upwards thrust, Tsukiyama fingers painfully digging into his waist, adding to the coiling pleasure building within his small frame.

“Tsukiyama…” Kaneki purred. He stopped moving, looking at Kaneki to see a lustful smile curl his lips. For a moment, Tsukiyama thought he saw Rize within Kaneki.

But Kaneki smiled like his usual self, or rather, a mix of the two, and he leaned closer to the violet haired ghoul. “Stir me up harder.” He said, lifting his hands to hold Tsukiyama’s head, thumbs softly stroking his cheeks.

In that moment, Tsukiyama thought that this Kaneki, covered in blood, lustfully gazing at him, was infinitely more beautiful Rize could ever dream to be.

“Très bein, Kaneki-kun.”  

He gripped Kaneki’s hips and threw him back down on the bed. He spread Kaneki’s legs wider, marveling at his flexibility for a moment before he began to pound into the young man. Kaneki moaned something beautiful, half-finished words and gasps falling from his lips. Tsukiyama leaned closer to his neck, licking the sweat and blood stained skin. Kissing the wet spot, Tsukiyama bit down on Kaneki’s neck.

The gourmet groaned, Kaneki’s blood rushing into his mouth. He tasted even better than Tsukiyama ever hoped, his flesh sweet and delicious and, oh…?

Kaneki had tightened around him. Fueled by his pathetic whimpers and the intense heat that held his cock captive, Tsukiyama continued to merciless thrust into Kaneki as he ate his neck, tearing flesh from tendons, blood soaking the bed sheets under him. His hand gripped Kaneki’s painfully hard cock and began to stroke him.

Something of a whimper left from the mutilated remains of Kaneki’s throat. The coiling heat deep within the pit of his stomach built and built, his body and mind wrecked and toyed with. With his arms pinned down, completely at Tsukiyama’s mercy, Kaneki came hard. His body jerked and twitched as semen shot over his stomach and Tsukiyama’s fingers.

He squeeze around Tsukiyama’s cock as he came, urging the man to finish inside him. Tsukiyama groaned, pulled out once and slammed back in as he bit into Kaneki’s neck; coming inside Kaneki’s spent body.

 They both breathed raggedly, neither moving an inch to catch their breath. He felt Kaneki go limp in his arms and he slowly let him go. Tsukiyama pulled out of Kaneki, semen dripping out of his asshole. He ran his hand over the entrance, his thumb easily sliding back in as more jizz oozed out around his thumb.

“I really went for it.” He said absentmindedly, pulling his thumb out. Bringing out his kagune, he let it widen and lifted Kaneki’s limp body. Carrying him with his kagune, Tsukiyama went to change the bloodied sheets on Kaneki’s bed and pillow. The bed now clean of spotless of any stains, he walked over to the bathroom in Kaneki’s room.

He turned the facet, checking and adjusting the water and waiting for it to fill before he settled Kaneki’s body in the warm water. Almost instantly, the water turned a light pink as it washed away the blood. Kaneki’s eyes fluttered open, his left eye now returned to normal.

“Tsukiyama…?” His throat was still hoarse as his neck was still healing. Tsukiyama tsked softly as he grazed his fingers over the healing flush. Maybe he’d gone too far with the meal. But then, Kaneki’s taste was intoxicating enough to forget himself.

“Rest now.” Tsukiyama said. He wet his hand and wiped it over Kaneki’s cheek, the dried blood washing away. Kaneki watched Tsukiyama’s hand before he nodded, letting his body finally shut down and rest.

Tsukiyama smiled, finger tracing Kaneki’s soft lips. “Digest me properly, Kaneki-kun, so I can be your strength.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic spiraled out of control
> 
> Like, it completely derailed


End file.
